The Fruits of Faithfullness
In my office, I have a favorite artwork entitled “Praying Women,” consisting of three wooden carvings of faceless women. I have them arranged in a prayer circle. I look at them often and stand in awe at the power of prayer. These statuettes remind me of a story from my favorite devotional book, Streams in the Desert. This is the story:
There is an old and beautiful story of how one Christian woman dreamed she saw three others at prayer. As they knelt in prayer, the Master drew near to them. As He approached the first of the three, He bent over her in tenderness and grace, with smiles full of radiant love and spoke to her in accents of purest, sweetest music. Leaving her, He came to the next but only placed His hand upon her bowed head, and gave her one look of loving approval. The third woman, He passed almost abruptly without stopping for a word or glance. The woman in her dream said to herself, “How greatly He must love the first one, to the second He gave one look of loving approval, but none of the special demonstrations of love He gave the first; and the third must have grieved Him deeply, for He gave her no word at all and not even a passing look. I wonder what she has done, and why He made so much difference between them?”
As she tried to account for the action of her Lord, He Himself stood by her and said: “O woman! How wrongly hast thou interpreted Me. The first kneeling woman needs all the weight of My tenderness and care to keep her feet in My narrow way. She needs My love, thought, and help every moment of the day. Without it she would fail and fall. The second has stronger faith and deeper love, and I can trust her to trust Me however things go and whatever people do. The third woman, whom I seemed not to notice, and even to neglect, has faith and love of the finest quality, and her I am training by quick and drastic processes for the highest and holiest service. She knows Me so intimately and trusts Me so utterly that she is independent of words, looks, or any outward intimation of My approval. She is not dismayed nor discouraged by any circumstances through which I arrange that she shall pass; she trusts Me when sense and reason and every finer instinct of the natural heart would rebel—because she knows that I am working in her for eternity and that what I do, though she knows not the explanation now, she will understand hereafter. I am silent in My love because I love beyond the power of words to express, or of human hearts to understand, and also for your sakes that you may learn to love and trust Me in Spirit-taught, spontaneous response to My love, without the spur of anything outward to call it forth.
The examples of these three praying women ring true for my life; I look back and see how the hand of the Lord has ordered my life and kept me in the hollow of His Hand. At various points in my life, I’ve been in the situation of each example of the praying women in the story. But I wasn’t always like one of these women; the early years of my life, before I came to know the Lord, were full of fear. Fear of finding myself alone once again in a room with an uncle bent on victimizing a little girl who didn’t know how to stop the molestation. But even then, I believe God protected me—I just didn’t know it then. When I was 13, I accepted the Lord as my Savior during a revival. I still remember the evangelist—Kleddie Keith—and the wooden, tear-stained altar I knelt before and asked Jesus to be Lord of my life. It was then that I moved into the example of the first praying woman. As a teenager and new Christian, I needed constant affirmation of my salvation. Shortly after my conversion, I was filled with the Holy Spirit—another experience that is still very vivid in my mind. But it was still a difficult time; my parents only attended church sporadically at that time, but I had grandparents who faithfully took me to church. I credit them with instilling a sense of faithfulness in me. Even though the first praying woman is in constant need of God’s attention as I was at this point, she is still praying, and God loves her even in her weakness. I am thankful that God loved me in all my frailty as a young Christian.
I believe I was still living the example of the first praying woman when I left home right after high school. No one had ever talked to me about what I wanted to do with my life; in fact, I went through high school believing I wasn’t going to college. No one suggested that I should. It wasn’t until the end of my senior year that I made a spur-of-the-moment decision to attend Texas State Technical College and pursue a degree in commercial art—of all things. It was during these few years that I believe I began to transition to the example of the second praying woman. I learned a great deal about living by faith in those years, and perhaps for the first time, I began to seriously pray and study God’s word. I learned to hear God’s voice as I spent time reading scripture. I would like to tell you that my life was trouble-free during this time, but that would not be true. The reality is I made many mistakes; this was the first time I had ever been on my own and temptation was and is everywhere in a secular college. But God kept His hand upon me just as He placed His hand upon the head of the second praying woman. It was also during these years that I met my future husband, Max. I wasn’t completely aware of it at the time, but I was right where God wanted me to be.
Thankfully, it wasn’t God’s will for me to be a commercial artist; He had other plans. Max and I married and settled into a routine of work, home, church, and children. Many of those years have been difficult ones. We often struggled financially in those early years and lost our third child through miscarriage. God used this tragedy as a pivot point for me; it hurt deeply; it made me stronger; it made me sure of God’s love, and I learned to have a deeper trust in Him. I was beginning to transition into the example of the third woman. Let me say, the example of the third woman is a difficult place, but it’s a secure place when you have the confidence that “God has your back.” Through all those difficult years—the years of raising our children; the years of financial struggle—God was faithful and my trust in Him grew steadily.
That faith was tested again a few years ago in 2006, during a routine medical test, and I realized I still needed the reassuring touch received by the second praying woman. My world stopped spinning a few days after the test when I received a call from the hospital; the doctor wanted additional tests because of “something” suspicious. I couldn’t breathe; this was a disease women fear most, but there was a calmness that I don’t think I had ever experienced before. For some reason, I felt I shouldn’t tell many people. I called a close friend to pray, and I told Max—no one else. My next move was to grab my Bible; I needed to read scripture about healing—or so I thought. I dutifully began searching for scriptures dealing with healing, but found myself reading scripture about fear. God directed me to Isaiah 41:13, “For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” It was then that I realized the real battle was against fear as I waited for the results of the additional tests, but I held firm to that promise—I wouldn’t allow myself to give in to the fear; I constantly read God’s promise, holding it close to my heart. The Lord was faithful; the results were good—no cancer. A couple of years later, I received the same phone call from the hospital after another test. Another test of faith was at hand. Again, I went to God’s word. This time, I immediately went back to Isaiah 41, but that wasn’t God’s promise this time. This time, God directed me to Isaiah 43:13, “Yes, from ancient of days I am He. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it?” My promise was clear. Again, a good report from additional tests.
Looking back, all those difficult times of my life prepared me for what was to be my greatest challenge to date—the challenge that placed me squarely in the position of the third praying woman—trusting Him when my granddaughter Avery was born. I already had three beautiful, healthy granddaughters and expected no different with Avery. When she was born with a heart defect that could have ended her life; my world once again stopped spinning. My heart broke not only at the possibility of losing Avery, but with the agony of watching my daughter suffer as she watched her new daughter struggle to hold on to life. I had never been asked to place the life of someone I loved dearly completely in the hands of God—until that moment. I steadfastly refused to believe anything except that God had Avery’s life in His hands. I am, and will always be, eternally grateful for all the prayers offered up by students, staff, faculty, and administration here at SAGU; your prayers made a difference. A few nights after Avery’s birth and heart surgery in which the surgeon, as he explained it, literally filleted and reconstructed her heart, God directed me to Ephesians 6:13, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” This was the only “word” I felt the Lord speak to me concerning Avery, but it was at that moment, I knew I had God’s certain promise that all was well. Over the next several months, standing firm on that promise was often a difficult thing to do, especially when every doctor who came into Avery’s intensive care room had something negative to report. It was then that I realized something about the example of the third praying woman; God was always with her, and I believe she could feel His presence. It has taught me to know that God is always present and faithful, even when He is seemingly silent. Today, Avery is a beautiful, healthy 13-year-old girl who has amazed her doctors by proving all their dire predictions about her future health wrong.
The dream of the Christian woman of the three praying women, although just a story, serves as a strong lesson for us all. God is patient with us and loves us in spite of ourselves. Let us all strive to have the faith and confidence of the third praying woman, the confidence that God always “has our back,” and “having done all, to stand.”
Cowman, Mrs. Charles. Streams in the Desert. Cowman Publications, 1928, 1965 (Zondervan Publishing House).